There you are. High out of your mind on the couch. It’s late but not that late and you damn well know you are going to continue watching another Netflix show. Your eyes begin to swell, your senses begin to open, and before you know it…there is that lingering void in your stomach. MUNCHIES!
Munchies is a global phenomenon that spares no one. It is a force to be reckoned with and if you are under prepared for it, it can lead to tearing your cupboards and fridge upside down trying to find a quick fix.
But luckily for all of you, I am a self-proclaimed “Munchies Expert” who has spent many years ordering and testing some of the best munchies online.
Here are the top 5 craziest munchies I recommend you buy right now (and thank me later) from Amazon.
1. Paqui 2021 Challenge
I’m going to start the list with a banger. Now I do warn you, ordering Paqui is probably one of the dumbest things I have ever done BUT it is a snack that EVERYONE should experience at least once in their life. It’s a ONE CHIP challenge that you and all your stoner friends should try. Definitely together because someone’s going to have to help you.
(Buy from Amazon) One bite of Paqui and the heat hits you immediately like a tsunami wave of fire. My first reaction was to submerge my entire head into the toilet (I wasn’t thinking right) but luckily my wife was there to rescue me with a jug of milk.
After dousing my entire head and mouth with milk, I awoke 9 hours later in a fetal position, naked on the floor in a puddle of my own urine. I am just kidding.
The One Chip Challengee
Paqui ironically means HAPPY in Aztec. I have no idea why it is named this but kudos to the company for creating the world’s hottest chip and then naming it after something so gay. (Get it?) Paqui is a ONE CHIP challenge that comes wrapped in a single coffin. I am serious about this. It’s made with two of the spiciest chili peppers on the planet, the Carolina Reaper Pepper and Scorpion Pepper.
$11.99 $6.99 (40% off)
2. Coconut Clusters
I am failing to put together the right combination of words to perfectly describe how insanely good this snack is. It’s the type of snack you hide from friends, family, and lovers. The type of snack you pack onto your carry-on when travelling. I lost my Coconut Cluster virginity when I was 25 (late bloomer) in a Costco aisle. The sample lady asked me if I wanted to try and the rest is history.
Coconut Clusters are made from delicious organic ingredients that your body can trust. A crunchy combination of super seeds (sunflower, chia, and pumpkin), and lightly sweetened coconut.
3. Garlic Hot Pockets
This product comes with anxiety especially if you live with a sibling. Who will get the last one? Garlic Hot Pockets have started more fights in my relationship than IG Instagram models. It’s always a race to see who can get the last one. They are literally that good.
Stuffed to the rim with premium sliced pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, all wrapped in a warm, thick, garlic, buttery crust. Are you hungry yet?
4. Toops Cereal
A bowl of cereal at 1am in the morning just hits different. And I promise you, this bowl of cereal will be life changing. Toops isn’t just my go-to for munchies but it’s my standard cereal Monday to Sunday. I eat so much of this stuff that I should be given a job as a brand ambassador; I swear I recommend it to everyone I know.
The best way I can explain Toops is to say it’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch on steroids. Big statement eh? Especially for all my Cinnamon Toast Crunch fanatics.
Toops Cereal (12 Pack)
5. Calypso Lemonade
I challenge you to find a better-tasting lemonade. Calypso makes Crystal Light taste like murky shit water and it’s a delicacy amongst supermarkets, rarely you’ll find it in-stores.
If a drink could be a hipster, this would be it. Made with real lemon, real sugar, and all natural flavors, Calypso awakens your childhood nostalgia and brings back the memories of being sugar high and running off the walls. All with one sip.
Paired well with all the munchies listed above, Calypso comes in 4 awesome flavors (and I highly recommend trying them all.)
Calypso Lemonade (6 Pack)
My personal experience with Calypso has been on and off for 12 years. What is now a guilty pleasure, I can only indulge myself occasionally because the sugar contents make me want to high kick a stop sign.
But please do not let my unfortunate cause influence you otherwise. Calypso is a lemonade you must try at least 4 times in your life. Each flavor boasts a totally different tasting experience and it’s the alpha omega of ALL lemonades.
$30.49 $28.49 ($2 off)