Here are some tip on How to Act NOT High! There are some days when unexpected events arrive right at your doorstep, and next thing you know – you’re scrambling to your dear life to sober up from that mighty high… especially after ripping an incredible bowl of goodness only 10 minutes ago.
Eeek, such shame because you’re literally drifting in the clouds and thinking of your next chef’s kiss meal. You were going to prepare munchie goodness … and devour it with a shovel. Except, now you have to find ways of acting NOT high because it happens to be the day your entire extended family from Orlando is arriving. Too bad you got too high to realize it’s not next Thursday – but today!
Don’t worry bud, it happens literally to the best of us. We understand that us stoners tend to sometimes forget events that don’t involve weed in them.
I got you covered, thanks to years of needing to act sober when I would arrive from middle school at 3.30 pm and had incredibly paranoid parents that believed schools were breeding drug lords.
So of course I had to put on my best act and pretend I’m Meryl Streep. The performance was to act NOT high. It was a challenge, but nowadays I await for my Oscars to arrive…
Get ready to get the essentials; Visine, coffee, anything caffeine for that matter and of course those acting skills!
Here are some tip on How to Act NOT High! :
1. Words of Affirmations + Deep Breaths
First of all – take a few minutes to give yourself a pep talk, that you can do anything! Place those affirmations right into your soul.
Repeat after me and say to yourself that you’re cool, calm and confident; “I’m cool, I’m calm, I’m confident. No one defines me, no one knows me better than I know myself. I’m cool, I’m calm, I’m confident. No one defines me, no one knows me better than I know myself.” Repeat this a few times and truly believe in yourself that any challenge that is thrown at you in the next few hours, you can conquer it all.
How dare anyone accuse you of being high, gasp at the thought of such an offence! Now breathe in for 5 seconds and let go for 5 seconds, repeat this again for the next 3 minutes. And truly believe in yourself that this is all a video game and you cannot glitch in the matrix by giving away your true character to people who don’t understand that weed is life. Remember the game is not over, until you say so!
Get Rid of the Smell and Tidy
Ok, so now that you’ve given yourself to collect your thoughts and gained power mentally. Get ready to give your home a hyper-clean, if you also have the luxury of a shower – hop into it for 1 minute and blast it on cold!
Spray some of that good stuff around you and your surroundings. By getting rid of that smell, you eliminate the presumption that you are even associated with weed.
During my middle school years, I would even go to any public washroom and start splashing cold water all over my face and even rubbing some on elbows and armpits in order to cool down my body. And I would always carry a perfume that smelled like laundry detergent. Here’s a good suggestion. And yes, you can also purchase Febreze travel size, this helps a lot.
Stick with smells that are not overpowering, instead go for mild scents that eliminate any odor. Or, else you may raise suspicion if you drench yourself in axe oil.
Always Carry Essentials
As a fellow stoner, you must invest in a travel size backpack or some purse that always has your essentials.
Gum: Not only is it refreshing, but it also removes that cotton-pasty mouth. Plus peppermint is usually a good kick to your senses and awakens your senses.
Visine: This is an obvious one, to clear those bloodshot eyes.
Two-tone glasses: These are honestly life changing, because if you wear sunglasses inside – it’ll be a dead giveaway. But with these type of glasses, there’s an ombre effect that happens and conceals your crimson red eyes. Instead, you just look like a software developer that is always busy working on the computer.
Keep it Ezzz
After you’ve successfully calmed your nerves, then hydrated yourself with caffeine and lots of water – you are ready to go into the battlefield!
When you arrive at the sober party remember to keep telling yourself that you got this. Instead be more observant of your surroundings (this wouldn’t be too hard for us stoners) and just let the other member do all the talking, and lead the conversation. This will make you look empathetic and caring.
However, if they start to question you and you’re not ready for it. Remember you can always excuse yourself, just say you have to use the washroom urgently and will be back shortly. This will give you time to again calm yourself down and reflect on the situation. Always remember; “I’m cool, I’m calm, I’m confident. No one defines me, no one knows me better than I know myself.”
At the end of the day, don’t forget to breathe and become aware that this too shall pass – and you can method act yourself to being sober! Trust me, we believe in you! Now go show off your skills.